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Writer's pictureGurprit Ganda

How to Calm Down When Dysregulated

Updated: Oct 29


How to calm down when dysregulated

Emotional dysregulation can be a challenging experience, often leading to feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and distress. Understanding how to effectively manage these emotions is crucial for maintaining mental well-being and fostering healthy relationships. This article explores various strategies to calm down when dysregulated, drawing insights from psychological research on emotion regulation.


Understanding Emotional Dysregulation

Dysregulation or "Emotional dysregulation" to be precise, refers to difficulties in managing emotional responses, often resulting in intense emotional reactions that are disproportionate to the situation at hand. It is commonly associated with various psychological conditions, including anxiety disorders, depression, and borderline personality disorder (BPD) (Gross, 1998; Mennin & Farach, 2007). Dysregulation can manifest as heightened emotional sensitivity, intense mood swings, or an inability to return to a baseline emotional state after an upsetting event.


Key Emotion Regulation Strategies

Research has identified several emotion regulation strategies that individuals can employ to manage their emotions more effectively. These include cognitive reappraisal, acceptance, and suppression.


Cognitive Reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal involves changing the way one thinks about a situation in order to alter its emotional impact. This strategy is grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and has been shown to be highly effective in reducing negative emotions such as anger and anxiety (Gross, 1998; Mauss et al., 2007). By reinterpreting a situation in a more positive or neutral light, individuals can decrease the intensity of their emotional responses.For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of immediately feeling anger and frustration, you might consider that the driver could be rushing due to an emergency. This shift in perspective can help reduce the emotional charge associated with the event.




Acceptance

Acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing one's emotions without attempting to change them. This approach is central to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and encourages individuals to experience their emotions fully without judgment (Hayes et al., 2006). Acceptance can be particularly beneficial for managing emotions that are difficult to control or change.Research suggests that acceptance strategies can moderate subjective distress more effectively than suppression techniques (Eifert & Heffner, 2003). For instance, during a panic attack, accepting the sensations rather than fighting them can reduce fear and catastrophic thinking.


Suppression

Suppression involves consciously inhibiting the expression of emotions. While it might seem like a straightforward way to manage emotions, research indicates that suppression can lead to increased physiological arousal and negative affective consequences (Gross & Levenson, 1997; Hofmann et al., 2009). Suppression may provide short-term relief but often exacerbates emotional distress over time.


Different emotions of frustrations

Practical Techniques for Calming Down

Implementing effective emotion regulation strategies requires practice and mindfulness. Here are some practical techniques that incorporate reappraisal and acceptance:

  • Mindful Breathing: Focus on your breath as a way to ground yourself in the present moment. This practice can help reduce physiological arousal and create space for more adaptive emotional responses.

  • Reframing Thoughts: Actively challenge negative thoughts by considering alternative explanations or perspectives. This cognitive shift can lessen the intensity of negative emotions.

  • Emotion Journaling: Write down your feelings without censoring them. This practice allows you to process emotions constructively and gain insights into your emotional patterns.

  • Body Scanning: Perform a mental scan of your body from head to toe, noticing any areas of tension or discomfort. Acknowledge these sensations without trying to change them.

  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Systematically tense and relax different muscle groups in your body. This exercise helps release physical tension associated with stress and anxiety.


The Role of Frustration Tolerance

Frustration tolerance refers to an individual's ability to endure frustrating situations without resorting to maladaptive behaviors or intense emotional reactions. Research indicates that higher frustration tolerance is associated with lower levels of anger and greater persistence on challenging tasks (Rodman et al., 2009).Building frustration tolerance involves gradually exposing oneself to frustrating situations while practicing emotion regulation strategies such as reappraisal and acceptance. Over time, this exposure can enhance one's ability to cope with stressors without becoming dysregulated.


Conclusion: How to Calm Down When Dysregulated

Effectively managing emotional dysregulation requires understanding the underlying mechanisms of emotion regulation strategies such as cognitive reappraisal and acceptance. While suppression may offer temporary relief, it often leads to increased distress over time. By practicing mindful techniques and building frustration tolerance, individuals can develop healthier ways of responding to emotional challenges.These strategies not only promote psychological well-being but also improve interpersonal relationships by fostering more adaptive responses in emotionally charged situations. As research continues to explore the nuances of emotion regulation, individuals will have access to increasingly effective tools for managing dysregulation in their daily lives.


References


  1. Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299.

  2. Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model process and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1–25.

  3. Hofmann, S. G., Heering, S., Sawyer, A. T., & Asnaani, A. (2009). How to handle anxiety: The effects of reappraisal, acceptance, and suppression strategies on anxious arousal. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 47(5), 389–394.

  4. Mauss, I. B., Cook, C. L., Cheng, J. Y., & Gross, J. J. (2007). Individual differences in cognitive reappraisal: Experiential and physiological responses to an anger provocation. International Journal of Psychophysiology, 66(2), 116–124.

  5. Mennin, D. S., & Farach, F. J. (2007). Emotion and evolving treatments for adult psychopathology. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 14(4), 329–352.

  6. Rodman, S., Daughters, S., & Lejuez C.W.(2009). Distress tolerance as a predictor of early treatment dropout in a residential substance use disorder treatment facility Journal of Rational-Emotive Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, 27(3), 97–120.

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