To help others I am also providing some general guidelines about showing that you care for others.
1. Do a nice act and communicate it too.
Remember to do a nice act that shows you care. That is the first step. Once you have done it please speak about it in soft and kind words so that your partner knows about it too.
2. Listen and validate your spouse / partner viewpoint.
Do not get into an argument and try to make your point. As in an earlier article on Top conflict styles for a healthy relationship, try to imbibe the validactory conflict style to understand your spouse / partner viewpoint. If you find that their viewpoint is correct then accept your mistake and apologize.
3. Learn to apologize
Nothing is lost if we apologize. I would infact advice that apologize even before you know whose mistake it is. Apologies helps in lowering the defences and helps facilitating a fact finding discussion. When defences are up we are not receptive to others viewpoint and the discussion tends to move into a blame game.
4. Surprise your spouse / partner often
All surprises do not need monetary committments. Some simply need a gesture that is unexpected. Like just yesterday I woke up in the morning to find my spouse ready with a glass of water for me. Another example could be cooking a special meal for them. Such small gestures are very touching and shows that we care.
5. Share to show you care
One of my friends never eats alone if their is a friend or family around her. She always make sure that they are with her and share a bite with her. She also makes sure that the last bite of any confectionary item or cookies goes to those in presence rather than eating it herself. Not surprisingly she is known as a very caring and loving lady. Such nice small gestures go a long way in showing that you care and think about others.
6. Think positive of your spouse / partner.
Over time we tend to take the positives for granted and start focussing on the negatives. However in healthy relationships if I ask the spouse to list 10 good qualities of their partner they are able to reel them off in minutes. While for those with relationships in strife, ask them a similar question and they find it hard to proceed beyond 2.
I often tell my clients to daily remember the good qualities of their spouse / partner and focus on how they enrich your lives. Believe me, if we focus on the positives our annoyance will reduce and we will make conscious efforts to make our partner happy.
In summary not many make conscious efforts to show that they care. But those who do find it very rewarding. It not only makes their relationships better but also improves their Quality of Life. They are more connected with their spouse / partner, children and friends.